Breathe Again
by Lady Loser
Summary: UPDATE She lost Edward. I lost Alice. She is empty, and I am a wreck. It was pain that brought us together, and fate that kept us there. There are millions of reasons why our love is wrong, but there is one that makes it right.
1. Attempted Suicide

**Okay, so I got some major inspiration from a song to write this story. It's going to be a long one, a whole lot longer than Twisted Bliss. Which, btw, that fic is almost done. Yay! Please R&R, and give this one a chance. :)  
The start is in Bella's POV.**

* * *

**CHAPTER ONE  
**_When I See Your Smile,  
Tears Fall Down My Face.  
I Can't Replace._

--

**_12:25am._**

I woke up at the same time every night just to reach out across my bed, hoping that everything from that fateful day had been nothing more than a nightmare. But, just the same as every night, the left side of my bed was empty, and there was no concerned, beautifully velvet voice asking me what was wrong. Like everytime I found my bed empty, painful cries erupted from my chest. My arms ached for him, and my lips yearned for his cool-as-glass kisses. I bit down on my lips to keep from waking Charlie.

My body racked violently with muffled sobs. Why did he have to be noble? Why did he have to risk everything to save me? I can't be without him. You are so stupid Edward Cullen. . . So stupid. How dare you leave me here by myself? You've abandon me, Edward. I snatched the pillow where his head once rested upon and watched me sleep through the night, and screamed. The violent racking only got worse, my tears flowed more freely due to my loss of self control.

My screaming broke apart with the cries of agony that cascaded roughly from me empty heart. How much I wanted to break that stupid promise I had made to him. . . It hurt to breath, to move, and my fingertips burned with everything I touched. I wanted everything to stop, I wanted so much to join my Edward in death. . . But I wanted even more to keep my promise to him. He knew what was going to happen to him when he left to battle. And he knew what I would do when I learned that he lost.

I rolled angrily off the bed, catching myself and setting his pillow onto his side of the bed. No matter what promise I had made to Edward in that last desperate hour, it was even more painful to be alive without him. Like he once told me, I could never live in a world where he doesn't exsist. Every breath I took, every word I spoke and every smile I faked was empty. Everything about me was hollow.

Victoria took more than just Edward away. She stole my world. I no longer had the love of my life, but I no longer had anyone to cry on. No best friend. No Alice. No Jacob. Nobody. She took everything away from me. Just the thought of losing my world made my emptiness painful. I fell to my knees and clutched at my torso, begging for it to end. I took several ragged breaths before I struggled to my feet, and raced out of my bedroom, down the stairs, and out the front door.

The rain was falling at a fast pace tonight as I ran through the empty streets. It took only seconds before I was drenched head to toe, the raindrops intertwining with the relentless tears. The moon was hidden behind a sheet of black clouds tonight. The dim streetlights illuminated everything in my path, exagerating everything I took in. The streets were deserted, leaving me alone. Just the way I wanted it.

I can't live without you, Edward, damnit.

How dare you ask me to?

My mind was racing faster than my clumsy two feet as I made my way toward the bridge. I could see it now, the small reflectors lit up by an oncoming car. My brows knitted together as I slowed to a walk, and I stared into the bright headlights.

They weren't like the headlights on any other car.

No.

There was a sort of blue tint to the glaring white light. It was almost as if a lightbulb went off in my head, and I froze. It was one of the many Cullen cars, with one of Edward's family members behind the wheel. It didn't take much thought to know what they were doing. No doubt Edward had asked someone to keep an eye on me, knowing that I might slip up. But there was no way I was going to let anyone stand between me and Edward.

The car began to slow to a stop, seeming to know what my intentions were as I eyed the bridge as my prize. I swallowed the lump in my throat, turned to my right, and ran. My bare feet sloshed through the grass as I bolted towards the trees. I knew there was another way to the bridge, but I also knew there was no chance in hell I was going to make it.

A human outrun a Cullen?

Not even.

It was too dark to see anything in front of me, and I stumbled a few times. My hands were out infront of me, feeling around for anything I might run face first into. I heard a faint sound of a car door slamming shut, and I knew that gave me only a few seconds to reach my destination. Then I finally seen the lights that illuminated the bridge, and I picked up my pace.

I grunted with the power I was pushing into my legs, hoping that I didn't trip over anything. My heart was thudding with exertion in my hollow chest, begging me to stop. My breathing was quick enough to keep up with the needs of my lungs, not giving me enough oxygen. Not bothering to slow my pace, my head began to swirl. Lack of sleep, lack of nutrition, lack of oxygen. . . It was all catching up to me now. Of all the times.

Please no. . . No. . .

Go away!

Here it is! The edge was only feet away now, and my legs prepared to launch me from the pain and into the rest of eternity. Edward was waiting on the other side, furious no doubt, but I would see him. Damnit, I was going to be with him again. My feet found the small, three foot wall that separated the trees from the ten-stories high bluff. I reached out, my hand clutching the cement wall for leverage, and jumped.

I made it!

My body began the free fall. The rush, the pain, and the tiresome exertion gave me an easy escape, and my eyes fluttered closed. I would not feel the pain of my fall, and I would open my eyes to my Edward. My life. My love.

My mate.

* * *

**JASPER HALE**

The body in my arms was still breathing, but I didn't need my special gift to tell she was completely broken. Even in her peaceful form, I could feel the pain of her emptiness radiating from every part of her. Feeling her pain only awakened mine and doubled it. Ouch. . .

I growled to myself, suddenly feeling angry at the small, fragile young woman in my arms. Even with the rain, I could clearly see the tears stains etched permanently on her pale cheeks. I frowned, then, realizing that she was too pale. Her skin was almost as transparent as my own.

I lifted myself from the ground and sprinted for the car I'd left idle on the side of the road. It took but a few seconds to reach it, and I set her gently in the passenger seat. I reached over and reclined her seat so she was laying flat on her back.

Such a human behavior was irritating. Selfish. Did Bella have any idea what kind of pain her death would inflict on so many others? I put the car in drive and whirled around, driving towards my home where the remainder of my family waited for me.

There was a new lump in my throat at the thought.

Only five of us were left now.

My brother and my wife were gone.

I quickly pushed the thought out of my head as quickly as it had come, and focused on the road.

* * *

"Where did you find her?"

I didn't look up when Esme asked me this, "She was trying to jump off the bridge by the main highway."

Stupid humans. Always looking for the easy way out.

Carlisle sighed and draped a blanket around Bella's motionless body, "She didn't hit her head or anything? Are you sure, Jasper?"

I nodded slightly, "I caught her before she was out of reach. Knowing Bella, she's probably been starving herself lately."

"You've been doing much of the same," Esme put one of her hands genty on my shoulder, and I didn't shrug her off like I normally would. "It's been weeks since you've hunted."

"I'm not in the mood right now," I growled. "And besides, my body doesn't shut down from thirst. A human body does."

Carlisle nodded, "She needs something in her system as soon as she wakes up. Her skin is far too pale and her body temperature isn't high enough." He sighed, concern pressing his brows together in the middle. If Bella wasn't human, I'd hit her. So stupid.

"Esme and I are going downstairs," Carlisle said. "If anything changes, let me know."

I nodded, and he left. I glared over at the girl sleeping on my bed. My prop. I clenched my jaw, trying to retain myself from doing anything that would upset Esme and Carlisle. They didn't think of this the way that I do. They don't see Bella as selfish for pulling a stunt like this. But I could see right through her. What a waste. It was difficult to hide the growl that was boiling in my chest.

As the hours ticked by, my anger never simmered down. If anything, I was playing out in my head what I planned to say to this idiot in front of me. The menacing scowl continued to linger on my face as the sun began to rise and shine through the window. For the first time in hours, my eyes made their way to Bella.

What should look like peaceful slumber looked more like inward struggle. She did not look asleep at all, though I knew she was by her breathing pattern. Her fists clenched and unclenched, her eyes tightened, and untightened. I stared at her, my mouth pulling down in both corners when I focused more on her face.

There, glistening on the bridge of her nose, were tears.

"Edward?" she whimpered. "Edward. . ."

I felt my body stiffen against the wall.

"I miss you, Edward . . ."

To another human, these words would be too ilegable. But I heard them loud and clear. The way they had an effect on me. . . She might as well had been screaming them.

"Come back -" her voice cracked and broke.

More tears. Her eyebrows pushed down at opposite ends.

I gritted my teeth, feeling the ambush of her strong emotions hit me like an oncoming train. I nearly lost my breath. So much pain for such a small body. Anguish, fear, pain, remorse, emptiness. . . How could someone like Bella feel such strong emotions without breaking under their weight?

Her eyes opened slowly, staring into nothing, "Don't. . . _Don't go_. . ."

At the distance I was at, I shouldn't have been able to see so much into her eyes. But as I tried, I gasped to myself. I might as well have been looking into a bottomless pit. In her eyes, the eyes that use to hold so much happiness, now hold nothing at all. Not sadness, anger, pain - nothing. If she didn't have a heartbeat, she could pass for dead.

"Jasper?"

Her voice startled me, "Yes?"

"Why did you stop me?" she asked. Her voice was just as empty as her eyes.

My eye narrowed, and I pushed my sudden tenderness for her out of mind, "Because what you were doing was selfish, Bella. Don't be stupid."

Her eyes didn't even falter with my harsh tone, "I don't want to hurt anymore, Jasper. I don't want to be here."

"You made a promise to Edward, and he asked me to make sure you stick to that promise," I spat. "He wouldn't want you to throw away your life like that." Her emotions, all in one swirl, pegged me, stabbing me everywhere it could. I sighed and filled the room with waves of calm, hoping to silence these feelings.

"Please stop it," she asked, her eyes still hollow and unfeeling.

"Your feelings aren't just affecting you right now," I said. Instead of feeling her calm, I felt something new and quickly stopped using my gift on her. My calming effect was doing no good. It only made her numb, and that was just as painful as the emotions she was putting off.

My quick retraction made her whimper, making me angry. Was there any way possible to help her?

"It hurts," her lips barely parted with the words. "I don't want to be here anymore."

"So you would break your last promise to Edward?" I countered her.

She inhaled sharply at the sound of his name.

"You know, you're unbearable even when your sleeping," I scoffed. "Your mood swings and emotions are going to be the death of me."

_Ouch_. Different mood swing.

Bella shot up, anger blazing in her chocolate brown eyes, "I didn't _ask_ you to save me, and I most definantly did not ask you to sit in here while I was sleeping. So if I'm so damn **unbearable**, then how about you get away from me?"

Her fierce anger was piercing my chest like small bullets, making me just as angry as her, "No, you never asked me to save you. But my brother made me swear to keep you safe. And unlike you, I'm not selfish and I damn well hold to my word. You're pathetic, Bella."

Her teeth ground together, "I don't care what you think of me, or what anybody thinks of me. What I do with my life is no longer any of your business," she got to her feet and stormed for the door. I quickly stepped in her way, blocking her exit. "Get out of my face, Jasper. Go manipulate somebody else, you're boring me."

I had to make her stay. As much as I wanted to toss her from the house myself, I wanted to keep my world to Edward even more, "So you really didn't love Edward, did you?"

Her body turned hard as stone, and her breathing came to a halt. She didn't bother looking up, or making eye contact. But her hatred knocked me breathless.

"_**What** did you just say to me_?"

* * *

**Okay, so that was a pretty long chapter.**

**But I hope I get good reviews. :)**

**And don't worry, I still plan to finish Twisted Bliss. I just got some inspiration for this fic and wanted to get it out of my system.**

**Lady Loser.**


	2. Smart Ass

**I forgot to write a disclaimer!  
Everything belongs to Stephenie Meyer. Not me. :(  
Song lyrics:  
Guardian Angel by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus.  
c:  
**

* * *

**CHAPTER TWO  
**_And now that I'm stronger,  
I've figured out;  
How this world turns cold,  
and breaks through my soul._

--

This was not something I was used to. Bella had never had any kind of temper like this, and she never lashed out at anybody. She was far too timid for confrontation. As shocked as I was, I didn't lighten up on my stance. Angry as she might be, she still couldn't get away from me. She was trying hard to look dangerous to me, and I almost laughed. Weak, feeble, human. Bella Swan and the word 'dangerous' in the same sentence brought me high amusement.

She must have noticed, "I don't find anything funny. Move."

"Do you think you're scary, Bella?" I leaned down to her level and was inches from her face. Her face was flushed, and I wanted badly to run away. The only thing that scared me was the blood running so smoothly through her veins. I would never understand how Edward could have so much self control. I quickly stopped breathing, trying desperately the remain more powerful than her.

Bella may not have been dangerous, but she was damn smart, "No, I don't think I'm scary at all, Jasper," she smirked at me. For a second, I wasn't sure if I was talking to Bella. Her personality is too off - too bitter. "But I think the only thing worse than me killing myself is to have you kill me. Do you think that would upset Edward, wherever he may be?"

I growled at her. Something in my face must have given away the one weakness that brought me down to her level, but there was no chance in hell that I was going to show her any sign of that.

"How long has it been since you've hunted?" she asked, a false smile plastered to her face. I wanted to hit her. Smart ass. "You're eyes give everything away. They're just as black as your heart. Now, get out of my way."

She tried pushing passed me, but I put my arm on the door frame to block her exit, "Sit. Down." I spoke through my teeth, fighting against the strong urge to sit her down myself. Did she really think that she could talk to me like that? The need to give her one good smack was clawing at me, and was growing harder to fight off. "Now."

Bella crossed her arms and jutted her chin out, "No."

How could one human be so damn infuriating!

"I don't know how Edward put up with you for so long," I growled. "You are the most absurd, nerve racking person I have ever met." I grabbed her by her arm, using too much force, and pulled her across the room. I heard a small whimper escape between her stubborn lips, and I pushed her down onto the bed.

Once I let go of her arm, she used her other hand to rub where my hand had just been. I could see her transparent skin turning purple already. Good. She shouldn't be so stupid. I narrowed my eyes at her, walked to the opposite side of the room and leaned against the wall. I shut my eyes and leaned my head back, trying to avoid her obnoxious mood swings.

"You got your way, didn't you?" she asked, her eyes cut into small slits. "Can you at least go somewhere and leave me alone?"

I didn't even open my eyes to look at her, "No."

"Go away," her voice was strained.

"Shut up, Bella."

I heard her teeth snap together, and I could tell she was still rubbing her arm, "You know, I could always make you go away."

"Do I look anything like Edward?" I asked with an annoyed sigh. "You can't make me do anything. Other than making me angry, there's not much else you can do."

"You're pushing it," she warned. I wanted to laugh. "I don't exactly care whether I live or die, in case you haven't noticed. And seeing as how the promise you made Edward is so important, I would keep that in mind." She nearly choked on Edward's name.

This caught my attention, and I opened my eyes to stare at her, "What are you talking about?"

"I'm not as stupid as you take me for," she crossed her arms across her chest, pretending like she wasn't rubbing her sore arm. "You don't have very good control, you haven't hunted in God knows how long, and my blood is nearly irresistible."

"There is always one way to fix that," I countered.

"Yes, there is always that one option," she turned her head away from me. How childish. "But then I would be a newborn, and my strength would be too much for you. Besides, I don't think you could handle that without killing me."

I could feel no bluff in her words, and this irritated me even further, "Be quiet. Another insult from you and I'll have Carlisle take over babysitting duty."

"_Please_," she pleaded in a mocking voice. "Anything but _that_."

"You're annoying me," I said in a flat tone. "Go back to sleep."

"I'm not tired," she shrugged.

"I guess that's a good thing, then," I spat. "You're even more pathetic when you're sleeping. You talk too much." I held my breath when I could see the blood pooling in her pale cheeks. Even the sight was tempting, so I looked away. This only pleased her. As much as I tried to ignore her emotions, it was hard to ignore her smug attitude. It must make her happy to know she was overpowering an immortal. I couldn't suppress the growl in my chest. Part of me wished she would go back to crying.

I hated knowing she could hold something over me like this. It should be me putting her in place, not the other way around. Maybe I should have let her jump off the bridge. Then I could be at peace, sitting in my bed and doing nothing. The same thing I was doing before I was bored enough to check up on Bella last night. In all honesty, I'd much rather be mourning the death of my wife than sitting here with someone who craves death so much.

Some nagging part of me was wondering what it was that really pushed me over the edge with Bella. What was it that had me so angry with her for jumping last night? I wanted to sigh, show how frustrated I was with myself, but I didn't want to satisfy the child on my bed any further. Such a brat. I was just waiting for her to stick her tongue out at me.

Edward was robbing the cradle when it came to Bella.

"So. . ." Bella began pulling on loose threads of my blanket. One of the many things that Alice had bought for me. Though I never used it, what Bella was doing was still pushing my buttons. "Do you miss Alice?"

Was she serious?

"Of course I miss her," I grumbled, taking a high amount of offense to her question. She continued pulling the strings while clearly concentrating on something. "Stop that."

She looked up at me, "Stop what?"

Pluck.

"Stop pulling the threads," I demanded. She stopped and folded her hands in her lap. "Now go to sleep or something."

"I'm not tired," she rolled her eyes. "I already told you that."

I sighed, thankful for what I was hearing behind me. Esme was coming to check on Bella. I pushed myself away from the wall and walked out of the room just as Esme was walking in. Her eyes were a bright butterscotch, showing why her and Carlisle hadn't come up sooner. I wasn't even aware that they had left.

"Are you leaving?" Esme asked before I could reach the stairs.

"Yes," I kept walking. "I need a break."

Carlisle didn't question me when I left the house, Emmett and Rosalie didn't even acknowledge me when I passed them and, shocking enough, I liked it better that way. I needed to be alone, away from Bella and away from my family. Emmett and Rose were constantly curled up in a ball together, even more so after Edward and Alice were killed. Carlisle and Esme didn't so much as crack a smile anymore. Not a real one, anyway.

They spent so much time trying to make me, Emmett and Rosalie feel better that they left no time for themselves to mourn the death of their children. My gift seemed to have no effect on anyone lately. When everyone was relaxed, and not focused on staying put together, they fell apart. In Bella's case, it only made her numb.

The sticks had no time to break under my feet as I ran through the trees. Every step that I was taking, I wanted to turn around and go back home. I wasn't ready for this, no matter how many months have passed. But how could I go back? I could barely handle my own pain, let alone allow everyone else's being piled on top of mine. I'd never understood how much of a father Carlisle had become, or how fast Esme took in the role of our mother. Until now.

Their grief was that of two proud parents who just lost their biological children.

Nothing I did helped anymore. I was useless to them. No one laughed anymore, Emmett isn't cheerful and Rosalie's love for herself and her appearance had even disappeared. I never thought I'd miss that side of Rosalie, but I found myself wishing that she would look in the mirror, flip her hair, and give a smug grin. But her eyes were just as empty as the rest of us.

My legs stopped moving when my destination came into sight; the light at the end of the tunnel. Could I really do this? Was I ready to face their death head on? It didn't surprise me when my eyes began to prick. Avoiding this was hard, but not as hard as facing it. I didn't notice when my breathing picked up, or when my knuckles turned white. The field were my brother and my wife had been murdered is in clear sight, daring me to come further.

I did so.

The wind seemed to be whispering my name, pushing me forward. As I continued my slow advance, I was hit with vivid images - the same ones I've been shoving to the back of my head ever since the day it happened.

_"Don't do anything stupid, Bella. . ."_

_I stared, horrified, down to my brother's mutilated body. There were no words to describe what lay before me, struggling to get the words he wanted to speak through his broken upper body. Bella, shaking with violent sobs, was clinging to the one part of Edward that was still intact. His hand grasped hers in return._

_"Promise me," he demanded, a smile on his tortured face. How could he smile!_

_Bella nodded, almost too eagerly, and pulled his hand to her chest, "I promise." Her voice was torn, rough and broken. Her teeth were clenched, and I could feel her need for release puncture through me. For a human, she was beyond words. Even now, she was trying to keep herself together to make Edward happy._

_Edward turned to me, smile still intact, "Make sure she doesn't try anything."_

_I couldn't do more than nod. I wanted to run, to do something that was going to make this better. I wanted to believe that it was possible for vampires to sleep and that this was a nightmare. None of this could be real. Edward couldn't have lost to Victoria. He couldn't . . ._

_"Jasper!" Esme's voice tore through the trees, but I couldn't move. I couldn't walk away from my brother like this. Not when I knew what was going to happen next. Edward's smile faded, and he searched my face._

_"Jasper. . ." his voice was strained. "It's -" his brows knitted together._

_"What?"_

_Edward choked on his answer, "Alice."_

Everything was like a playback now. I would never live another day without thinking about my loss.

My feet trudged into the center of the field, my eyes never regaining their focus. I stopped in the middle of the field, my dead heart falling deeper into my stomach. Where I stood, was where Edward had fallen. I needed my brother more than I have ever needed anything else in my long existence. With an exhausted sigh, I fell onto my back into the thick grass. Under my weight, a small gust of wind scattered ashes. My throat tightened.

Staring up at the sky, I did the only thing I could think of doing, "Edward. . . "

It hurt to say his name; brought pin to my chest. It felt as if something had me in a death hold.

"So much has happened since you've been gone, brother."

* * *

**Okay, so that's the end of this chapter!**

**Short and pointless, I know. But I wanted there to be some side of Jasper that wasn't so evil. And yes, Bella is completely OOC in this chapter, only because I found that it might be better if her grief had a different effect on her. She is more of a smart mouth, and is desperate for death. It will get better next chapter, though. I just want this story to last longer than Twisted Bliss. Alright, there are some reviews I would like to respond to:**

**Emma - Why would you flame me in the first place? Because I choose to have a different outlook on things? On Twilight? That is the point of fan fiction. It's fiction, written by fans. C'mon, what you said was not very fair. I also know that not alot of people are going to read this because it's a Jasper/Bella fic. But that is why I put my story in the Jasper and Bella category. But I am glad you enjoyed it for the most part.**

**twilightfan1178 - Don't get me wrong, I would be very upset if Edward and Bella were to truly not stay together in the Twilight Series. But the point of fanfiction is to get carried away, be creative. And I think that Jasper and Bella as a couple is very different. :) Also an enjoyable challenge.**

**Ananke - Thank you very much. I try very hard. It's nice of you to notice. It kinda stinks that alot of the Twilight fics here aren't writen very well. It makes me sad. Lol.**

**wingsxforxmarie - Trust me when I say I don't take any offense to your review. Those of us who want to further themselves with writing need to hear some brutal honesty. But, sadly enough, I have to give an excuse for my spelling errors and mistakes:  
I'm very weird. I get my inspiration to write at odd hours of the night. I just so happened to write the first chapter at four in the morning. By the time I was done, I was half asleep. But I really wanted to get it posted because I look forward to reviews. I was much too tired and lazy to do my usual spell check and read-over. I'm sorry about that! Yes, Jasper's thirst has always been an issue, and I made that quite clear in this chapter. I guess I should have in Chapter One. My mistake, once again. Thanks for your review!**

**Katanagirl16 - No, actually I didn't. I've never heard that song. The song I'm using here is "Guardian Angel" by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus.**

**Clear Plastic - :D Thank you! I'm trying to make things a bit more drawn out here, and much more natural. I still have to guess at how Jasper truly acts, though.**

**flowermasters - I'm glad I'm making a good name for myself. :))**

**Bae319 - I guess I should say sorry for leaving you with another cliffie? Haha.**


	3. Attack

**Hello everyone!  
It has come to my attention that there are alot of people getting offended by my FF. So I would like to make a couple points here, okay?  
ONE. . . I absolutely LOVE ExB, so please stop making me sound horrible for being different with my writing? I'm about to block PMs, really. I'm not going to stop writing, okay? So stop. There are 293 pages in the ExB category. So why do you take the time to come over to the small, 9 pages of JxB and act ignorant? Get off the computer and make some friends. The next time I see a rude PM show up in my Email, I will report you.**

**TWO. . . Does anyone see anything expicit in my story? No. Come on, I barely have any swear words in here! And there are ratings for a reason, people. No one has a gun to your head - No one is MAKING you read JxB. So back off. Grow up. Leave me alone. I am not going to stop writing, like it or not.**

**Sorry for my rant. But it needed to be said.  
Enjoy.**

* * *

**CHAPTER THREE  
**_And I know I'll find deep inside me,  
I can be the one._

--

The clouds were moving too fast, and I felt like I was spinning. I could still smell the scent of my brother lingering in the air, how pure he had truly been. I wanted so badly for him to answer me as I spoke. Give a half-smile, and tell me I was crazy for being so depressed. Carlisle wasn't our father, but Edward was so much like him. Easy to talk to, laid back, family oriented. . . He had so much to live for, so much going for himself. After all these years, he had found someone who made him happy. And he gave his life to protect her.

I sighed, feeling guilty now. How many times had I thought badly of Bella today? I had wanted to hit her, bite her, kill her with my own two hands. Edward would have found some way to piece himself together and kill me. Edward believed in me and supported me when the Cullen's had first taken me in. Him and Emmett had even teased me, made me lighten up. Something that took more than courage to do.

"I wish you would tell me what to do," I begged to the grey skies. "I don't have anyone anymore. Everyone is so involved with other things, changed so much. I don't know my own family anymore." My voice began to crack. "It's so different without you here. Is it weird to say I miss you being in my head? That I don't like privacy? I want to be able to think bad things, and hear you laughing.

No one ever caught on to those mental conversations. No one ever caught the joke. Rose doesn't even care about how she looks anymore," I chuckled to myself. "She was wearing sweats today. I don't think there has been a sign of make-up on her face since you've been gone."

The wind whistled, my hair now tousled from the small assault. My face could feel where the tears would be burning right now, leaving trails down the sides of my cheeks. How much could one vampire yearn for a good cry? It didn't seem like a real cry when my eyes didn't swell, or when my eyelashes didn't stick together from the salt of my tears.

"Bella has changed," I didn't want to talk about this. "She's . . . A brat. How did you put up with all of this? The self control, I mean. I don't like to look at her, and I don't like to breathe around her. Everything about her is painful. I never gave you the credit you deserved. . . You were more of a saint than you know."

I don't know how long I stayed in the field, but I could see the moon coming to life by the time I was done talking to my lost brother. I didn't want to move from this spot. Being here and talking - it made me feel closer to someone I would never see again. Part of me could sense something was different every time I changed topic. I jumped from Bella, to Rose, then Carlisle and Esme, then to Emmett. But I could never bring myself to mention the one person I'd been dying to talk about.

Having thought this, something changed again. The air, which only reached this low to the ground a few times during my stay, caressed me in a tender way. My skin ached for the sensation of goosebumps. In the cold night air, how could a breeze feel so warm? I suddenly felt whole again. I closed my eyes, consentrating hard. There was nothing more I wanted to do than to believe that it was her.

_Alice. . ._

I could almost hear her wind chime laughter, could almost feel her lying down next to me. I wanted to so badly to open my eyes; to reach out and grab her hand, but I didn't want to mess up this illusion. What I was feeling couldn't possibly be real. That couldn't be someone breathing next to me. And that definitely couldn't be my gift picking up someone else's emotions. Such happy, pure emotions. I could feel the familiar need from her; the need to reach out and comfort me.

_Alice. . ._

There was no doubt in my mind when I inhaled her scent with my next breath. My throat closed around it, savoring the very flavors of her. The temptation to turn around and see what wasn't there was nearly impossible. Even the urge to throw Bella out the window was no where near this tempting. It hurt to feel so close, but have to stay so far away.

_"Jasper?" . . ._

My eyes shot open and I whirled to my feet, immediately searching for her. There was no mistaking her voice, she had to be here. That was her emotional signal, there was no mistaking such pure happiness. Such love. My arms reached out to where I could once hear her breathing, but I was let down. My hands came up empty, and my heart dropped, from 'unbeating', to crumbled pieces. My stomach turned; twisted. My Alice. My wife. She was here. She was trying to comfort me.

My ears were burning to hear her voice again, searching in the hushed wind that blew across my empty face. I had never felt so let down. How could she be here one second and be gone the next? Damnit, Alice! Everything inside of me shredded into nothing, and I wanted to scream. I gave the field one last glance before I retreated as fast as I could into the darkness of the forest.

The only light I had to guide me was the dim light of the yellow moon. My breathing was uneven, and I was gasping for the air I didn't need. Her scent was gone, and it was killing me. How could Alice do this to me? She knew me so well, why would she get my hopes up in such a way? It was torture! I had never felt something like this, and it made me feel completely vulnerable to everything. Here was my life, my prolonged existence, hitting the fan in every painful way that was possible.

Every part of me was on fire, burning and steaming. I wanted to wake up from this nightmare, look into the endless depths of her eyes again; to hold her and never let her go again. How stupid she had been to go into that field. Always so confident in herself. The little monster that was too fast, could never be caught. Especially not in the grasp of two newborns. How I wished it was me that ended the pathetic existance of those newborns; show them what pain really felt like.

I would hunt down their family, their loved ones, the threads of their former lives. Jacob's vicious wolf fangs would not cut it anymore. They needed something far more painful, far more deserving. My wife. . . My brother. . . The two most important people to me were taken by the hands of those so unworthy of being immortal. Parasites. Nobodies. Two big piles of nothing. I hated them, and I would find some way to avenge the death of my loved ones.

It didn't take long to get home. I made it inside and back to my room without being questioned. I could feel their intense curiosity, but I could care less for a 'Q and A' right now. I slammed my bedroom door behind me, ready to lay on my bed and think of ways to put this nagging pain off on others', until I caught her unwelcome scent. I looked up, and Bella was curled on my bed, her eyes wide as she took in my current mood.

My breathing was still labored, anger radiating from every inch of my tense body, "Bella, leave."

I couldn't handle anyone right now. I just wanted to be alone, to make my plans and relieve this pain once and for all. Bella's mood didn't switch to curiosity at the sound of my voice. But, rather, I felt her fear. Her heart began to race, her blood racing through her veins with shock. I'd never found fear to be so pleasant, but this was utterly mouth watering.

Bella nodded at my command, and slowly scooted off my bed. Her heart began racing faster as she stepped closer to me. I could sense that she was trying to calm herself, keep her heart under control. Smart one, she was. She knew how dangerous I could be; how thirsty I am.

I was clearly in her path, but she did not switch direction. Her heart was becoming more audible, thrumming in my ears and setting my throat on a wild rampage. My eyes scanned her, finding my wanted destination. Her throat was the only thing I could see anymore. Her slow, cautious steps were bringing what I craved so much closer. It was instantaneous - her skin now translucent. I watched the blood rush through her small veins, tempting me in ways I never knew possible.

My lips peeled back over my teeth, venom erupting from the core of my throat and the small opening in my razor sharp crowns. Every bone in my body tensed, and I felt my legs lower into my hunting crouch. My eyes praised the fresh, warm blood that called me in such an inviting way. I'd never known how much a humans blood could draw me in. Bella Swan was my prey, and she had only seconds to live.

Her feet suddenly stopped moving, and she was standing not even a foot away from me. Her scent was too strong, too intense, "Jasper?" Her voice broke, her fear grasping me in every weak area it could find. Bella was aware now, knew what was coming. "Jasper, what are you doing?" Her voice was loud now.

She took a step back, but she didn't make it any further. I leaped from my crouch and slammed my body into hers in a bone crushing thud. We tumbled to the floor, and her head hit the side of my shelf. Something fell to the floor and shattered, but I didn't dare look away from the singing blood under me. I used my left arm to snake around her body, making it impossible for her to move. My free hand ripped her long hair out of the way, revealing just enough room for my teeth to sink into the crook of her neck.

In my grasp, I felt something snap and my body shuddered. Everything about her was appealing, pulling me in like a magnet. Her pain filled scream echoed through the house, irritating me. I wanted to turn around, cling to my prey and protect my hunt. I could already hear the hiss escape from my parted lips. But I couldn't find the strength to put her down.

"Jasper!"  
"Stop him, Emmett!"

Esme and Rosalie's voices temporarily pulled me from my hunt, but it didn't last long. Their effort went to waste when another strong scent grabbed me by the throat. I looked behind Bella to a stream of fresh blood that was slowly pooling on my floor.

I didn't hesitate any farther - I ducked my head and my teeth broke through her tender skin. My upper lip folded, pushing gently onto the main vein running into her neck and my bottom lip cupped around the opening. My eyes rolled back into my head as her blood pooled into my needing mouth. My arm tightened around her struggling body as I sucked greedily on my prize.

"Carlisle!"

"Hold your breath!"

"Get Rosalie out of here!"

Everyone's words were rushed, all blending together. I was hearing, but I wasn't listening.

In the back of my head, I could hear her screaming, crying; her begging me to stop. I listened, waiting for her screams to drown, to gurgle to a stop. But I didn't make it that far. It had only been a few seconds - very addicting seconds - until someone grabbed my shoulders and ripped me from the delicate body beneath me. As a defense of my hunt, I poured a mass amount of venom into her blood, and ran my tongue over the opening before my body was slammed against the wall opposite from where I had been. Bella's struggling body dropped from my arms, and landed on the floor with a loud crack - a whimper of pain being the last sound she made.

I struggled against the many holds, growling and hissing in an attempt to reach my prey once more. My thirst was not in the least bit satisfied, and her blood was still fresh on my lips. The need for more was unbearable. Even Emmett's ruthless fists were not enough to calm me. Another hand slammed down over my nose and mouth, cutting the flow of Bella's every flavor from reaching me.

"Take him outside, Emmett! Now!"

I didn't know who was talking anymore. The voices were all the same. My body was having a war with itself. I could feel myself coming to sense, but my true being wanted badly to kill anything in the way of what I truly desired; the girl laying broken on my bedroom floor.

**_Bella._**

Emmett began shoving me, managing to get me out of my room and into the hallway. Someone shut the door behind us, and I could no longer see the girl I had just tried to kill. Everything began setting in, taking place in my mind. A big part of me prepared to see an enraged Edward storming my way with his hands outstretched towards my throat. I threw a quick glance to the stairs, and the image in my head quickly vanished. Of course Edward wouldn't phase up the stairs in an attempt to reach me. . .

"What were you thinking, Jasper?" Emmett's angry voice broke through my short lived let down. I actually wanted Edward to fly up the stairs and throttle me. "How could you do that to Bella?"

My eyes flitted to my large brother, still black with thirst. But I could see in Emmett's eyes that they were changing rapidly. I looked away, and his hand dropped from my face, "Don't breathe. Get downstairs."

It hurt to sense what my family was feeling right now. So much anger; all of it directed my way. I winced as I flitted down the stairs behind Emmett. As fast as we were, everything felt slow to me. Had I just done that? Was it possible? A big part of me refused to believe I had just killed Bella Swan.

Thinking of it, I listened closer to the sounds from upstairs. I shattered when I could hear her heartbeat. It was very faint, losing strength. I could hear it struggling to keep up. How was it possible for a vampire to have a broken heart? Edward. Not only did I go against my brother's last wish; I had done the exact opposite.

There was no hope for Bella. Her breathing was labored, drowning in blood.

"What do we do, Carlisle?"  
Esme.

My own mother was upstairs, cleaning up after me, hoping she didn't have to let go of the one part of Edward we all had left.

"She's not going to survive, Esme," Carlisle sighed, and I could hear him digging through his medical bag. "She lost alot of blood. Not just by Jasper, but her head caught something during her fall. She -"

He stopped.

"What?" Esme's voice was high in panic. "What's wrong?"

"There's only one way to save her," Carlisle's voice was just as broken as Esme's.

"No, we can't do that," Esme cried. "Edward wouldn't want this."

"Edward would want Bella to live," Carlisle was stern with his choice. "We will not lose Bella. She's a part of this family, too." He shifted his weight. "Rose, you should leave. This isn't comfortable for you."

"Alright," Rosalie said, and I could feel her thirst growing stronger. She hesitated, fighting with herself, before leaving the bedroom. It didn't take her long to get down the stairs, and I didn't need to open my eyes to feel her glaring daggers into my back.

"You're pathetic, Jasper," she sneered.

I tried not to flinch under her eyes, but I did. In any other situation, I would have something to say in return to my 'sister', but I knew I was wrong. I didn't have to inhale everyone else's feelings to know what was to come. I tried not to hear what came next, for I knew it would not only make me thirsty for Bella again - but it would hurt me. Edward would never be reunited with his Bella when her time came; for it never would.

"Isn't Jasper's venom already in her blood?" Esme asked, still frantic.  
"Yes, but I'm not sure it's enough," Carlisle was adjusting Bella's body now, preparing.  
"But isn't it dangerous for there to be two different kinds of venom in her system?"

"She should be fine," he sighed. "But it will be easier and shorter for her to change if the venom is being distributed from more than just one part of her body."

My eyes closed, and my fists turned white at my sides.

There was a soft sound from upstairs that made me cringe.  
Calisle's teeth broke through Bella's fair skin.  
And her weak heart jumped.

_I will never let you fall.  
I'll stand up with you forever._

--

* * *

**Long chapter, alot different than the last, but it came to me. Just like humans, shouldn't vampires lose control of themselves when under so much emotional pressure? I know when a family member of mine died, I lashed out alot, lost control and hurt alot of people. I wasn't myself. I asked a few other people if this applied to them as well, and they agreed. I'm sorry if this chapter wasn't so great, but alot of things are going to change from this point.**

**Besides, wasn't everyone waiting for something between Jasper and Bella?**

**:)**

**Oracle Vas - Thank you for noticing. I try to throw in some small details, little pet peeves. It was the best I could come up with. And I'm going to apologize ahead of time, just in case this side of Jasper upset you.**

**ChrisAshley - There will be some juicy stuff eventually! But I'd like to take things slow with this fic. I'd like to take a different approach with this one, instead of them ripping each other's clothes off right away.**

**KD Skywalker - I think we ALL wish we could make Jasper feel better. :) He's quite the stud. Haha.**

**PintoBean13 - Thank you! :D It won't be all tears and angst, though. Next chapter will be very different than the rest.**

**xContinental Spicex - Of course Edward and Bella are meant to be. I am a die hard ExB fan. Please, no one get me wrong, I would probably stop reading the Twilight series if these two ended! I really almost stopped reading New Moon. I skipped chapters just to make sure they were getting back together. Haha.**

**Elisabeth-I - Well thanks. I didn't want this to be one of those where Jasper is cold hearted the whole way through. After all, everyone has a soft side. I like to base my stories off of real life experiences, so that way I know how to describe the feelings and emotions just right. (Not that I've ever been attacked by a vampire!) But you see my point, right? Thanks for the review!**

**Lead69 - I tried not to make it so common, so I kinda through Jacob in there. That's who Bella would run to if Edward had really died, and no offense anyone, but I can't STAND Jacob. Really, I hate his character through the whole series. He just bugs me! But thanks for taking notice for my strive to be somewhat original. :P**

**Katanagirl16 - Wow, do I really? I'll have to check that out when my Limewire starts working again. It's so boring to write with no music. It sets the mood for me.**

**flowermasters - I feel horrible for being happy that I made someone cry. Hahaha! I'm sorry!**

**wingsxforxmarie - Well, I think I made Jasper's thirst a little more clear in this chapter than I did the last, huh? Hehe. I had two choices and alternatives when it came to this chapter. Either way, Jasper was going to attack Bella. I kept erasing it and trying to type a different ending to this chapter, but it wouldn't work! My fingers must be stubborn. Ha. I've had this chapter typed for two days, and I've reread it three times. If something is wrong, point it out? I'll hunt down a beta.**

**Ms. Nobody - If this chapter isn't as good as I intend for it to be, then I'll def. let you know. I might just need one!**

**Lady Loser**


	4. Awake

**Alright, I know I was supposed to update the night that I posted my AN. And, honestly, I did type this up the night I posted that. But I wanted to wait awhile until I was able to read it over and correct everything I missed. I might have missed a few mistakes, and I'm sorry about that. It's going on nine in the morning and I have not slept yet. My baby is a kicker! Haha.**

**Anywho, this chapter is possibly the shortest one yet. But I wanted to add a few soft moments between these two. I had to initiate it sometime, right? It's what everyone is waiting for. The next chapter will have more moments, more humor, and a little bit of angst. Thank you for sticking around!**

**Ladyy Loserr**

* * *

**CHAPTER FOUR**  
_I'll be there for you through it all,  
even if saving you sends me to heaven._

--

Things have not progressed in the past few days.

_At least, not to the human eye._

I sat against the wall opposite of Bella, watching her body carefully. Her eyes were shut tight, as if she was fighting a headache. But I knew she was fighting off something far more painful than head trauma. Her tiny fists were balled and her knuckles were dead white. As small as those fists were, I know how much power they now hold.

The beauty of her was changing. Her hair looked like pure silk, spilling like a waterfall over the side of the bed. Her skin was already rock solid, glistening in the sunlight that peered through the window. The clumsy limbs that had belonged to human Bella were now much different. Even in her tortured slumber, she looked graceful and dangerous.

The muscles in the revealed parts of her body were much more defined and toned. Every curve of her was no longer simple, but exagerated in the most delicious ways. Any other time, I would kick myself for looking at Bella like this, but it had been going on for two days now. There was nothing I could do to stop these thoughts. Did it matter? Might as well think well of her before we were in full combat in the front yard.

I sighed.

Was it really smart to have me watching her?

She was going to be a newborn. A newborn with the knowledge of who changed her; of who took her life from her.

But I found myself indifferent. I didn't care if she tried to kill me. Though, I had never fought a newborn that had a specific grudge against me. Or one who had seen vampires in action before they were changed. So this would be new. The part of me that was supposed to be preparing for pain, was excited.

A big part of me wanted to touch Bella. Even if it was in a violent way. Or self defense, in this case. I sighed again, rolling my eyes to my own thoughts, and continued to watch her. I looked at her lips, and nearly frowned. They were still a bright pink, swollen in a moist, luring way. They hadn't faded in the least. I don't think that she is going to have a big problem attracting prey.

Her eyebrows were arched, perfectly like they had been drawn with a thin pencil. As small as they were, those, too, resembled silk in the same way her hair did. Bella looked almost toxic to me. I wanted to much more than to look at her. Damn, I needed to stop. I crossed my arms over my chest and willed myself to look away.

I don't have a very strong will.

Ah, her heartbeat. Where was Carlisle?

Bella's heartbeat fluttered, it's pace speeding up to fight off the venom in her system. I raised my eyebrows. Her chest must by throbbing from the way her heart was pounding it's way out. It continued to speed, so I listened past it. I couldn't hear anyone downstairs, or in the house at all. When did everyone leave?

Great. I had to face her on my own.

If Carlisle was right and I heard clearly, Bella should be waking up soon. I could hear her heart losing the battle inside of her. Not much longer now. I couldn't help myself, and I pushed out a massive amount of calm. Hopefully this would work. It hasn't effected anyone in the way I wanted ever since. . .

I shook the thought out of my head, and glowered closer to Bella without the slightest attempt to be silent. Her new hearing would catch me before I made two steps. No doubt she could hear me now. I stopped a few inches away from her, coming up breathless at the sight of her this close. I have always known how flawless and perfect my kind were, but I've never seen perfection in this form.

Something about her was still average, still human. The emotions that should have been screaming from her body by now were not there. There was something else. Patience. Of all things that Bella should be right now, patience was not one of them. I continued looking her over, and found myself wanting to touch her.

I felt like a kid with a new toy.

The corner of Bella's mouth twitched, and I could read the pain twisting on her face. But she composed herself before I could do anything. A muffled noise came from her throat, almost like she was fighting the urge to scream. I winced, remembering the pain I was in during my change. Another addition to my list of things to feel guilty for.

I had no common sense. For the past two days, I've been hoping Bella would wake up and not be angry. It was true that she had every right to be, but I could still hope. It was a somewhat new feeling to me; hope. That's when everything stopped. The room - the house - was now completely silent. Her heart stopped after one final thud, and she lay still.

I backed up a few steps, not wanting to take her by surprise, but I didn't want to go too far either. Unfortunately, I still scared her. A threatening growl began to brew in her chest, and I could feel her mood go from calm, to defensive. Her eyes snapped open, and she jumped into a crouch on the bed and locked her eyes with mine. She hadn't even been awake for two seconds, and she was already preparing to attack me.

I didn't move, flinch, or back down. No, I did much worse. I stared. Her waterfall hair cascaded to one side over her right shoulder, and her ruby eyes stared daggers into mine. There was a fire in her eyes that I had never seen before. Then, something weird happened. Her defense faded, and she tilted her head a little and stared back.

Her mood was much different, and I wasn't sure I could put a finger on it. The closest thing I could guess, from the way she was staring, was fascination. My eyebrows knitted together. What was their to be fascinated about? Her breathing stopped and her hand shot out to me. Before I could react, her fingers were gliding over my face. What the -

_What is she doing?_

My eyes searched deeper into hers, even though she wasn't looking back. Her eyes were wide and curious; and tender. Tender? I just killed her, took away her choice and her life. And here she is, her hands groping my face like it wasn't just buried in her neck two days ago.

Her fingers moved down my cheek, tracing the scars that she could now visibly see, and moved to a new spot. My lips. A rush of something pulsed through my body, pushing me to edge closer to her. This feeling wasn't new. I had felt this way before, just not about Bella Swan, and never this strong.

_Alice...._

I jerked back and slapped Bella's hand away from my face, "What do you think you're doing?"

Confusion. Hurt. Disgust. Embarrassment. Fury.

**Shit.**

Her eyes narrowed and a hiss seeped from her barely parted lips, "Sorry."  
Her anger wasn't focused towards me. She was mad at herself.

"Whatever," I scoffed. "Don't touch me again."

_If you did, I don't know if I could pull away again.  
_Now I was angry at myself. Jesus.

"Excuse me, Jasper," she began in her new, singsong voice. "But after what you did, I think I have every right to do as I please."

I whirled on her, growing angrier at myself. Her voice, even pierced with anger, was beautiful to me. And I hated her for it. This stupid attraction had just started a few hours ago, and here I was; wanting her like I had never wanted someone before.

"You don't have rights to anything," I growled. "Do you think anyone in this house asked to be changed?"

Her expression didn't change, and her emotions stayed tied to fury, "No. I don't think that."

"Then shut up," my voice was cold, and it was hard to be so close to her face. "You're just going to have to deal with it like the rest of us."

Her eyes searched mine again, and her mood dropped. _Again_. What was it this time? Her next question answered mine.

"Edward always said my blood was irresistible," she started. I knew what was coming up. "Did I taste good?"

I didn't know how to answer that, but I couldn't stand watching her. Her eyes were burning flames into mine, and I knew what she was looking at; my eyes that matched hers. Her blood was swimming in mine, along with my guilt. I turned away from her, not bothering to answer her question. Though, in all honesty, I don't remember ever tasting something so wonderful in all my existence. But telling her that was out of the question.

"Did I offend you?" she asked before I could take more than a step away.

Damn, she was more emotional than a pregnant human. I tried to kill her and she's asking if she offended me. I would never understand Bella Swan. I anticipated her waking up and trying to throttle me for what I did to her. But, no, she wakes up and looks at me with those eyes. Even the deep red that they were, there was so much depth to look into. The secrets were endless, and so much of me wanted to reveal all of them. The tips of my fingers burned to touch her. . .

I turned around and faced her again, though with less rage, "Why are you acting so strange?"

_I kind of like it._

She looked annoyed with my question, but answered with no such tone, "I'm trying not to get angry, Jasper."

I raised an eyebrow, "You're trying to prove me wrong about newborns." I didn't ask, I knew.

She took a minute to think before nodding her head to confirm my knowledge, "If you want to put it that way. I don't want to be a monster anymore than you do."

"What?" I growled angrily at her. "Two days ago I tried to kill you. I was seconds away from succeeding in that goal. I _am_ a monster." Did the venom do something to damage her brain? I wouldn't put anything past her right now.

Surprisingly, her mood didn't falter under my outrage. What kind of newborn was she? Was she really this determined to prove a point to me? "Do you want me to be mad?"

My frown deepened, "No. I don't want you to be mad. But I don't want you to think I'm sane."

"You can change my mood," she sighed. "But you can't change my thoughts. I've known you long enough to know you're not a monster."

"Can you see your blood in my eyes?" I sneered, pointing a finger at my face. "Your blood, Bella."

She nodded, "It doesn't change my opinion on you. Sorry."

Even with immortality, Bella was still more human than she knew.

"Why did you touch me like that?" the question slipped. I didn't want her to know I was curious.

She smiled, "I've never really been able to see your scars so clearly. And, well, everything looks so much different through these eyes and you just so happened to be there when I opened them for the first time. It's alot to take in."

"Do I scare you?" I needed to gain some control over myself.

Her forehead creased, "No. Why?"

Ugh. Could she be so blind?

"You're beautiful," she blurted. Bella, too, needed to learn to control her words. Her regret smacked me right after the words did. I didn't know what to say in return, I could only stare at her. Being complimented in such a way gave me incentive to look her over. She was wearing one of Rosalie's outfits now. Could my sister have picked anything less revealing? The shorts Bella now wore showed her mile long legs. Flawless. My eyes continued up, glancing hesitantly at her top. Everything about Bella stood out to me now. Had she always been so. . . developed?

I growled and stormed away from Bella.  
Again, I was angry with myself.

"You're an idiot, Bella."

* * *

**Okay, so I felt like I needed to throw in a tender moment between these two. I know everything looks a little rushed, but it was hard to re-type this chapter when I have it all typed up on another computer! URG! It's so annoying. I'm trying to write as much as I can before life turn into hell for me, and I have no time to update.**

**I Have Cullenism - Haha! I love your pen name. It's great. I don't understand why I get flames either. E/B was kinda final in Breaking Dawn, so what else is there left to the imagination?**

**wingsxforxmarie - Glad you liked it! Your advice helped me out alot. Thank you. This chapter was rushed, you'll have to excuse me for that. But hopefully my next chapter will be different.**

**flowermasters - Aw! I had originally planned for Bella to stay human, but I thought the same thing. I wasn't even planning on having Jasper bite her that last chapter. But sometimes I get so drawn in and I try to make the emotions strong. It seemed right.**

**LittleBells - I might swing their upcoming love in a different direction. Let's see who faces their feelings first, shall we? :D**

**Clear Plastic - Sorry it was rushed. I try to draw out the details and every little line I can think of, but then I'm afraid I'm boring my readers with too much of it. I'm trying to give JUST enough to wear the reader won't yawn and stop reading. Lol.**

**PintoBean13 - Everyone was probably expecting a much different reaction out of Bella. And I did start this chapter off as her being violent and trying to kill him. But I'll save that for a rainy day. :)**

**Sheena Is A Punk Rocker - Aww. I happen to love Edward very much. If there were a man like him that actually existed, I would be his stalker. Rofl.**

**Ladyy Loserr**

**Alright! Give me alot of reviews and I will update!  
**


	5. Confrontation

Days were dragging by, and none of them were making life any easier. Living with Bella was harder than what it looked. Not only was our house on constant surveillance from Charlie and his search crew, but Bella was ripping herself to shreds trying to resist the temptation. I didn't know how to help without actually going out there and being with her. And that, silly as it seems, is scary enough for now.

I was long past giving myself excuses, done kicking myself, and had given up denying any of my disgusting thoughts any longer. I was simply lusting after Bella. I am a vampire, but still a man. She stopped trying to talk to me, and was convinced I hated her. Sometimes that confused her, sometimes it angered her. One morning, I felt her temper sky-rocketing when I was in the middle of a phone conversation with Carlisle. She didn't bother opening the window before jumping through the glass and making a run for it.

Part of me wanted to roll my eyes, the other was shocked and in awe due to her self control.

There were only a few times that she acted this way, and it never failed to partially annoy me, and amaze me. Now she simply pretended I didn't exist. She was a vampire with endless control and she was playing a three year olds game. This part didn't shock me. Brat.

Today was a bit different from the rest. I could feel something in Bella other than false pretence when the front door opened. I looked up from my spot on the couch next to Emmett. From looking at her face, I could see what she was feeling. Determination. This should be fun.

"Can I talk to you, Jasper?"

Or not.

I tensed and my eyes tightened, "Why?"

"Because I want to talk to you," she answered.

I didn't have to press further to know that she wasn't going to give me a better reason. It had only been a little over a week and her eyes were already swimming with animal blood. Bright red had faded to amber, matching with mine. Only hers would be gold soon, when mine would be black. I nodded and got to my feet, following her outside where she took off into a sprint.

I sighed and followed.

I was quickly bothered by how fast her lazy stride was, but I kept up. As we ran, her determination grew stronger. There was a frown on her normally friendly face, and I wanted to know what I was getting myself into before she took me any further. The sounds from our home disappeared, and then she stopped. Her stop was too sudden, and I had to backtrack to meet with her.

Her hands were balled into small fists, and her brows were knitted as she stared up to me. Edward's ferocious kitty was more capable than she came off to be. I smirked.

She growled.

"What did you drag me out here for?" I asked, keeping my voice flat.

"I want to know why I'm such a plague to you," she said, her voice just as flat and controled as mine.

"You're not," I lifted an eyebrow.

"Then why do you ignore me?"

"You never say anything, either," I countered.

"The last thing you said to me was an insult. You look at me like a child."

"You're a newborn."

"And I think I'm doing a pretty good job so far. Much better than what you did."

I advanced and my hands shot out in front of me to grab her, but she was anticipating this. I stopped and a hiss boiled in my chest, "Don't judge me, Bella. I come from a different time than you."

"You think I don't know this? I'm not making any judgements, Jasper. You are. I'm trying pretty fucking hard not to be the monster you made me, and you still look at me like an idiot."

My teeth snapped together, "I'm going back to the house, Bella."

"No!"

I stopped mid-step and glared at her, "Yes. Go back to doing whatever it was that you were doing before and leave me alone."

"I said no," her position changed, and she was leaning into a crouch.

"What do you think you're doing?" my eyes narrowed at her threatening stance.

"I plan to stop you if you run," she answered, her heels digging into the ground. She was serious.

"You're still a newborn," I said. "I have experience with your kind."

She snorted, "My kind. I'm a vampire, idiot. Whether I'm new or not."

"Fine. Is there anything else you want to say to me?" I asked impatiently.

"Yes, there is."

I stood in a straight posture and crossed my arms in front of my chest. There was a strange look on her face, matched with an odd emotion falling from her every move. Her eyes fell to the ground, she inhaled deeply, and exhaled. What was it that she was working up to? I narrowed my eyes again when she finally looked up at me. Then, suddenly, I recognized that look on her face.

I recognized the emotion as one I have not felt in what seemed like years; passion.

"Jasper..."

No.

"I want to know something."

Where was my voice when I needed it?

"I already know you're attracted to me," her words were laced with confidence. "I want to know why you haven't acted on it yet."

My hearing was absolutely perfect, never flawed in any way. Yet here I was, wanting to ask her to repeat herself. Hoping that I had head wrong. Yes, it was true that I was attracted to Bella. But it was just an attraction. Lust. Vampire or not, I'm still a man. Does she expect all men who have an attraction to act on it? How ridiculous.

Well, she was being honest. Therefor, I should do the same.

"It's an attraction, Bella. A physical attraction. There is nothing more than that here for me, which is why I'm not acting on it."

It shocked me how hard it was to say those few words. There was nothing more that I wanted than to act upon my impulses. I wanted to tear into Bella in every way there was possible, and to taste every last inch of her. But there was something holding me back; and that was my loyalty to my brother. But even that was hard to answer to when Bella stood here staring at me with passion igniting in her amber eyes.

She tilted her head in the smallest gesture and smiled, "Does there have to be love in order to act on a physical attraction?"

I almost fell over. Was she serious?

Her lips twitched and she inched closer. My first instinct was to retreat, but my legs weren't responding. Had becoming a vampire filled this girl with so much confidence, that it would actually overtake me? Bella was the most fragile human; too soft and with no self confidence. Now here she was, advancing on me with a new gleam in her eyes.

I regained a small amount of control over myself and quickly scanned through everything she was feeling. Ahh, I found it. The old Bella was still simmering. This confidence was a show. There was nothing but nervousness and fear of rejection radiating through her every pore. With knowing this, I was now in full control. I would play her game, and I would win.

My eyes narrowed and I returned her smile, "What is it that you plan to do, Bella?"

She grew closer, her smile was wider now, "Nothing. I just want to know why you're afraid to be attracted to me."

Still, her emotions were the same. I smirked and advanced towards her, taking her off guard. She stopped and her teeth snapped together. She knew she was busted. Anger danced along her eyes, kicking that seductive gleam out of place. But there was something I liked more when she was angry. Something far more attractive than her attempt at seducing the truth out of me. I took another step in her direction and let my eyes trace her.

I was looking, but I tried my best not to see.

If I were to take in her every detail like I was pretending, I would come undone.

Being a vampire, it was hard to _not_ see what was in front of you. Everything was in vivid detail, and I wanted to take every part of Bella in with every last sense I had. The distance between us was closing, and I couldn't gain control of my legs to stop myself from advancing on her. I tried to convince myself that this was just a game. And that I was determined to win. But I wasn't talented enough to be able to lie to myself. I knew what I wanted.

With or without my gift; I knew Bella wanted the same.

Bella's casual style of clothing didn't seem so casual anymore. Everything that she wore was clinging to her body, calling out for me to touch and feel what was only inches away. I hadn't realized how tense Bella had been until my right hand rested itself upon her hip; and she relaxed. The corners of my mouth twitched, and I concentrated on her searching eyes and saw what was going to damn me to even deeper depths of hell when this life was over.

My knees nearly buckled under the waves of lust that were pouring out of her every limb. A noise escaped the back of my throat, and it seemed a fire had ignited in Bella. Passion and need was swimming in her eyes now, and overwhelming me in a way I never knew possible. Damn her for what was about to happen next, but I couldn't stop it any longer.

My free hand shot up and grasped the back of her neck in the most rough way I could manage and my fingers curled and clamed around a lock of her hair. I yanked her off her feet and crushed my lips down upon hers. But she was ready. She had been expecting this. This knowledge should anger me, but it only fueled the fire I hadn't known erupted.

Instantly, her legs wrapped around my waist in a vice grip and I could feel her control slip away just as mine had done. Both of us betrayed by what has been done, we no longer cared. Both of her small hands were exploring now. One cupping the side of my face while the other roamed through the mess of curls that was my hair.

Her mouth took control of mine, and forced my lips apart. I didn't ignore this, and I tasted everything I could. She was pure and sweet, and almost like the taste of honey. Her hands ripped free of their places, and began shredding my shirt. The pieces of torture fabric fell to the ground beneath us.

Bella shifted her weight and shoved me back until we were on the ground, and she was straddling me. Her strength was well beyond mine, but I wanted control. I craved it now. I needed it. It had only been two seconds ago when our lips had been moving in the same perfect harmony. But everything shifted; everything was violent.

Our lips battled for control over the other, and the need for power rushed through me. My arms reached out and I quickly switched everything. Slamming Bella's body into the ground, I tore my lips from hers and began a new kind of assault on her neck. She threw her head back in pleasure while my lips tasted every inch of her neck.

She whimpered under me, sending me even further into my frenzie. I moved my lips from her skin to her shirt, and used my teeth to rip the cotton from her body. Bella cried out, and my lustful rage continued to grow. I glared down at her and pressed my lips into hers once more, but I was sure to be more firm with this. One of her hands gripped at my neck, and I bit down on her bottom lip. I didn't want her to control any of this; I snatched her wrist and ripped her hand away from my body, pinning it to the ground above her head.

A new sence of fear tangled in with her lust, and it nearly drove me mad. I didn't care if she was afraid - I wanted her to be. Stupid, irrational, beautiful Bella. She no longer belonged to Edward. This was all for me. She whimpered again, and breathed my name.

I was not Bella's.

Bella was simply mine.

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**Okay, so I am completely livid!**

**I have written this chapter FOUR TIMES! This stupid computer has froze up on me, and I had to shut it off manually without saving my work. Originally, this was going to be a lemon. But I can't bring myself to write it again. I can't explain why. I just can't. Ugh. I'm sorry about the long wait.**

**But I did go see Twilight. I thought it was amazing!**

**And, in case no one knew this yet, they ARE going to do a movie for New Moon.**

**:)**


	6. Ecstasy

**WARNING ---**

**This chapter is a lemon. Strong, sexual content and all that good stuff. I sucked at it, so it probably isn't that bad to read. If you are uncomfortable with sex, then do not read any further. If I get any flames complaining about the sexual contact written in this chapter, I will simply ignore you. You have been warned. Also, the story rating is M for MATURE. Thank you. :)**

**Ok, there is going to be something different in this chapter, and I'm sure everyone will notice. I think that everyone is too busy writing Bella to be this innocent, too sweet kind of girl. The reason behind fanfiction is so people can expand and change things. I'm tired of the boring Bella. She has a new attitude in this chapter. More confident and sure of herself. So please don't freak out on me. **

**

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**

**CHAPTER SIX  
**_It's okay. It's okay. It's okayyy.  
Seasons are changing,  
and waves are crashing.  
And stars are falling all for us.  
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter.  
I can show you I'll be the one._

_--_

Bella's fear was rising, almost equal with the need and lust. Her body was tense under mine, her instincts beginning to take control. If Bella is ever frightened in the least, her body's natural instinct is to retreat. I wasn't about to let that happen, and Bella knew this.

"Jasper! -" Her voice cut off in a muffled groan, and her back arched. Her hips were grinding against mine, and I bit down on her bare shoulder. Venom spilled from my teeth and into Bella's granite skin. Her small body squirmed under mine, brushing and pushing in all the wrong places - But it felt more than right. It took a minute to click that she was struggling against me.

I pushed her shoulders back down into the grass and pulled my head up from her shoulder. Her eyes were frantic. The fast shifts between emotions was too much for her. And every mood swing came with another instinct for her to follow. I could feel the fear in her rising, already taking over the lust she'd taken me with. Her need for me was all but gone, and I could read the panic in her eyes.

Before her instincts could kick in, I pressed my lips to hers. Gently at first, until I got a response that nearly drove me mad. Her lips parted for mine, and she clawed at my back. Her hips moved in rhythm against mine, and I knew that there was no going back from this point on. None of her newborn shifts in mood could stop me.

"Damnit, Bella," The sound was rough, pleasing her. I couldn't bring myself to pull my lips away from hers. My body shook in small spasms. It took everything I had not to collapse. My arms could barely stand to hold me up any longer. I've never felt so weak; so vulnerable.

Her lips were dancing hungrily on mine, her tongue exploring mine. With what control I had, my free hand found the fasten of her pants. I didn't have the patients to un-do the buckles; I shredded the jean fabric and tossed it aside. It didn't take any time at all for Bella's hands to do the same with mine. Cold as our skin might be, there was still that familiar heat coming from Bella. She pushed her hips against mine in one last thrust before I could take no more.

I pulled my lips free from hers and tore away whatever was left on her body and mine, and pushed her legs apart with one of my own. And there was that damn fear again, pushing me even further than where I was. How could I want her anymore than I already did? Bella was panting, her breath warm against my chest. Her hands clamped down on my lower back, her nails scratching deep into my skin. The pain was welcoming, and I will never understand how it could feel so damn good.

I let my hand trail down to her thighs, and closer to the warmth that was drawing me in. I opened my eyes and stared down at Bella. My hands moved closer, by slowly. Bella bit down on her bottom lip, and she threw her head back against the ground. Her body jerked and her cries were quiet. She let one of her hands drop from my back, and cling onto my wrist. Her grip was weak, and her arms were shaking with the uncontrollable desire pumping through her.

"Please," her voice broke with that one-word plea, and she didn't have say another word. With whatever strength she had left, she pulled my hand closer to the center of her thighs, and I finally felt Bella for the first time. With one movement of my fingers, Bella gasped, and her hips were thrusting again; begging. Using one finger, I pushed past a wall I didn't know was there. Bella answered with a sharp breath, and her grip on my lower back was tighter.

Anger and shame soared through me, and I couldn't make myself move. The only sound now was Bella's quick breathing, completely unaware of just how much danger she was in. How could she not tell me? I looked down at Bella, and her eyes were open now and burning into mine. I saw no regret, no shame. Her eyes were pleading with me. She didn't have to speak for me to know what she wanted; what I wanted.

I opened my mouth to speak, and Bella was quick to make sure nothing was said. To ensure that I wasn't able to stop myself. It slipped my mind how much stronger Bella is than myself when her legs wrapped and constricted around my waist. With one fluid move, I was in. Bella bit down on her lip, trying but failing miserably, to cover the hiss that was boiling in her chest. My elbows gave in and I buried my face in the crook of her neck.

Holding myself up with one hand, my other grabbed her hips and held them in place. She flinched, fighting her instincts to escape the pain, and I couldn't make myself stop. I didn't want to make myself stop. Every swift thrust was filled with more ecstasy than the last. Bella's breathing fell into a labored pant, hissing every now and again when my teeth dug into her neck.

My venom burned into her, and I felt the power and the possesion in me. Bella was mine. Only mine. Her legs tightened around me, and her hips moved in perfect harmony with my own. A sharp pain trailed down my back, and I was suddenly angry. I knocked Bella's hands away from me, and bit down into her shoulder.

Her scream was a mix; pain, pleasure, and fury. This time her claws attacked my chest and my face. She growled and her lips pulled back over her teeth. Bella's instincts had finally won. Her body jerked upwards, and my lips took over hers. She twisted away from me, and sank her teeth into my chest. I slammed my body into hers and wrapped my free hand in her hair, pulling on it with every push and thrust of our hips.

The change of emotions racked Bella's small body. Lust and anger swimming together in a dangerous current that could kill. Her venom was dripping down my chest, burning. She pulled back, her shoulders hitting the ground with a quiet thud. Her back arched into me, and I knew I had won. Bella was still pissed, but her need for this had overcome her.

She looked up at me, and her eyes were wild. Her whimpers were soft, pulling me closer and closer until my knees began to shake. My hand clasped her hair harder, and Bella's responding moan brought me over the edge. I took my hand from her hair and grabbed her leg, pulling it up over my hip. Bella sucked in a deep breath, and her body tightened around me. Quick, jerky spasms sent her into a silent frenzy.

Everything I had was gone with one final move, and I rolled over. Bella was still breathing heavily when I sat up and glanced at the pile of shredded clothes. Now was a good time to wish I hadn't done that. Was I supposed to go home like this? I sighed and ran a hand through my tousled hair. As if it wasn't already a natural mess. Great.

"Jasper," Bella sat up and covered herself as best as she could with her arms. Why she would bother hiding what I've already seen is beyond me. I lifted an eyebrow at her, waiting for whatever she had to say. "I already have it covered." She got to her feet and smirked down at me.

"What are you talking about?" I stood up, feeling a little ridiculous. I was standing in the middle of the woods, completely naked. I picked up on her smug attitude, and instantly wanted to knock her off whatever high horse she was sitting on.

She flipped her hair and ran a hand through it, then began walking towards the direction we came from. I didn't want to, but I followed. It didn't take too long before she stopped and knelt down in front of a small shrub. She reached in, and pulled out a small, blue camping bag. When she unzipped it, I could see clothes. She pulled out a small t-shirt and jean shorts, clearly for her, then threw the bag at me.

"I'm sure you don't want to walk in the house like that," she said, her back turned to me while she slipped her clothes on. I couldn't help but notice she hadn't packed an extra bra. Once she pulled her shorts on and buttoned them, she turned to me and smiled like an innocent toddler.

Yeah, right.

"I even put a brush in the front pocket," she raised her eyebrows at my hair while putting her own messy locks into a ponytail. "I'll see you at home." With a small wave, she turned her back to me and was gone.

I stood there, staring after Bella; watching the dirty settle back into the ground where she had kicked it up. I could still feel her, the bitter-sweet smile still burning in the back of my mind. The bag dropped from my hands, and I felt my teeth grind together in frustration. Bella had known what was going to happen. She planned everything out.

And I had fooled myself into thinking I was the one who had full control.

I fell into Bella's trap.

Bitch.

**BPOV**

My laugh rang out through the forest as I ran. I had won. Finally. I grinned and jumped over the creek that separated me from home. I landed with grace and sprinted for the front door. I didn't hear the TV, so Emmett was probably out and about with Rosalie. No one was sure what those two had been up to for the past couple of months, but it wasn't often they were home anymore.

I opened the door and peeked inside. I was right. The couch was vaccant, and there were no sounds through-out the house. I stepped in and flitted up the two flights of stairs, and into my room; Edwards room. There was a knot in my chest with the thought, and I put a shaking hand over my unmoving heart. My eyes pricked and tickled, and I choked up a soft cry.

Through the past couple of days, Edward had not been on my mind as much as I thought he would be - as much as he deserved to be all I thought about. I knew why Edward seemed a distant memory rather than the man who captured my heart the moment I laid eyes on him. I was no longer human, I was a vampire - and all of my human memories would, according to Rosalie, slowly fade until they were completely forgotten.

Of course, I could always save those heartbreaking moments with Edward. But the one way to do that was the one thing I was afraid to do. The one thing that was able to hurt me. I had to think about him, constantly remind myself of the moments I shared with him. As much as I knew I had to do it, I couldn't. I couldn't bring myself to remember the things that tore me apart from the inside out.

It was torture.

I inhaled deeply, an old human instinct I used to calm myself. Without a beating heart and blood racing through my veins, it was a wasted effort. I shook the thought of Edward from my head and kneeled down in front of my dresser, reaching for the third drawer. Inside was my favorite pair of pants. The ones that I could wear for the rest of forever and never get tired of.

My holey sweatpants looked aweful through these new eyes. I could now see why Alice always had a panic attack whenever I wore them.

Alice.

I shook her from my head before I completely fell apart. From somewhere, I knew Alice was watching me through narrowed eyes, promising that she was going to kill me - even in the afterlife. Not only had I lost my virginity to her husband just twenty minutes ago, but now I was putting on these disgusting pants. I chuckled to myself, stood up, and dropped my jean shorts to my ankles. I kicked them to the other side of the room, and pulled on my cozy sweats.

It was almost like a sigh of relief, having something from my human life clinging to my body. I could smell my own human scent on them, and that only brought me closer to what I missed the most. Of course I had wanted to become a vampire. But the sole reason being was so I could be with Edward. Forever.

And forever was cut short.

He was gone, and-

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, _fuck_.

Another human urge put a crater sized hole in the wall. I mentally slapped myself, and pulled my foot out of the hole. Drywall and white dust was everywhere. Wonderful.

"We invite you into our house, and you destroy it. Nice going, Bella."

My head snapped to the doorway, my lips instinctively pulling back over my razor sharp teeth. My legs were locked, tensing to pounce. It only took a little over a second to realize that it was only Jasper. I should have known. Why I didn't hear him coming, I wasn't sure.

"Stand up," he crossed his arms over his chest and his eyes were slits.

I corrected myself, and smiled sweetly at him. I had always been a horrible actress, and I never had an ounce of confidence. For reasons unknown to me, things were very different. I placed my hands on my hips, feeling out of place, and tilted my head, "Hello to you, too."

His forehead creased a little.

"What exactly do you think you're doing?" he asked.

I chill ran down my spine at the sound of his voice. He was absolutely livid, this much was clear. But even being as mad and frightening as he is, I still wanted him. Again. I wanted to turn my face away, expecting blood to rush to my cheeks but I didn't move. I didn't wipe the smile off my face, and I didn't cave in to lust, need, embarrassment, or anything other proud satisfaction. I wasn't going to let Jasper have the best of me.

"What do you mean?" I turned and walked to the opposite side of the room, stopping infront of the full, body-length mirror.

"You know damn well what I mean," his voice was rising. "Don't play stupid, Bella."

I examined my hair, pretending I wasn't paying much attention to him. Really, though, I was trying to think of something to say. Just one thing to show him that, for once, he isn't in control. I turned to the side and studied my new body, something I haven't done yet since the transformation.

"So I wanted sex," I shrugged my petite but strong shoulders, and turned back around to look at him. The look on his face almost made me back down from my game. "Why is that such a big deal?"

"I'm the last person you want to play mind games with," Jasper took a few steps into the room, and closed the door behind him. "What the hell are you doing, Bella?"

I curled my lips in and narrowed my eyes, "It was just sex, Jasper. Why is this such a problem to you?"

"Because you were a virgin," he stated in a flat tone.

"Yeah, so?" I sighed, getting annoyed with where this was going. Sure, I enjoyed playing with him. But I didn't expect him to get mad. He is a man, and since when do men care if a girl wants to have sex with them? I started feeling a bit nervous. Maybe I was the one girl Jasper didn't want to have sex with. That any man would have sex with. Rejection was sinking in.

"So you belong to my brother," he hissed through his teeth. I could see in his eyes that he didn't like saying those words. Why? "It was bad enough that I have to live the rest of eternity knowing that I nearly killed you. But now I have to live with this. Do me a favor, Bella, and stop playing childish games."

"I don't believe seducing you falls into the category of childish games, Jasper," I stepped closer to him, watching my every move with a careful eye. I've always known Jasper to be dangerous, and I didn't want to push him too far. Just far enough. "You wanted it, too." The corner of my mouth pulled up into a subtle smirk.

A fierce growl ripped through Jasper's chest, and through his exposed teeth. Before I knew what was happening, I pinned against the wall, Jasper's solid body holding me in place. One hand was on my throat, the other over my mouth. This wasn't excruciating, but it did hurt. Fear locked my body into place, my instincts going every which way, and I didn't know which to follow. My human instincts were still slightly intact, and that's what kept me from fighting my way free.

"I am still in love with Alice," he hissed at me, his eyes wild. "What I just did with you, I'll never forgive myself. Your mind games are over, Bella. You and I are nothing, we never will be. I don't want you." His words hit me like pure, burning acid. I flinched with every word, and my eyes squeezed shut. This was the last kind of reaction I expected out of him. "Tell me if you understand what I'm saying, Bella. Because I'm not going to repeat it."

I hated this. I felt like a thirteen year old, being put in place by her parents in front of the entire school. Rejection turned to hurt, the hurt turned embarrassment. And the last one, the one Jasper saw coming; embarrassment burned into rage. My eyes snapped open, the flames in them burning into Jasper's. I could read the comprehension in his eyes, but he was a little late on timing.

My teeth sliced their way through his hand, and my palms slammed into his chest with enough power to send him through the wall. Before he hit the other side of the room, I grabbed him by his foot and my knee made thundering contact with his back.

It was surreal, everything was happening in slow motion to me. This wasn't me. I wasn't attacking Jasper. I wasn't trying to kill him. I was trapped behind my own eyes, watching myself attack him relentlessly. Jasper had known better. It only takes that one mistake. Let your guard down for even a second when it comes to a newborn, all could be lost. His mistake could cost his life.

Jasper hit the ground, and flipped to his feet. He stayed low, in a defensive crouch only ten feet away from me. I crouched down, lower than eye level with him, into an offensive position. My fingers curled with anticipation, aching to tear through him. I fought with myself, trying hard to battle my instincts. But I couldn't stop.

My lips twitched, curling back over my teeth. My mouth was pooling with venom, and my body was tensed to pounce the second he made another mistake. Another slip. Just one doorway was all I needed, and it would be done. But my anticipation was too much. I leaped and bounded across the floor, my teeth not even three feet from Jasper when an all-too-familiar voice stopped me in my tracks.

"Bella, stop!"

Edward.

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**Okay, yes. Cliffhanger.**

**I'm a bitch.**

**But I gave this chapter as much as I could, trying to make up for lost time. I didn't even know it had been this long! Having a baby sure makes time fly. And I'm sorry if my lemon writing wasn't great. Haha. It took me three days to type it up. I couldn't come up with the words. But I had to test it out, and further my experiences. I hope no one minds.**

**Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed just a little bit.**

**Good review, faster update.**

**Btw, this chapter eliminated my writers block. :)**

**Ladyy Loser.**


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